Cruises: 2020

Our cruise ship

My buddy Cliff said, “We've got to go through the Panama Canal next year.”

I was totally willing. In fact I had booked that cruise five times and had to cancel it for one reason or another, five times. “You book it and I will come.”

So he did, but he booked Carnival. The only thing I know about Carnival is they have a reputation for being party boats. Cliff booked a seventeen day cruise through the Panama Canal on the Carnival Miracle. The ship's decor looked dark and depressing to me as I looked at the pictures of it on the internet. I joined the Cruise Critic roll call that discussed the cruise, and many of them had been on that very ship before.

When I talked to Deb about it she said, “It doesn't matter. It’s a Panama Canal Cruise, you always cancel Panama Canal Cruises.”

I'm so determined that we are going on this one that I won't let anything stop me. Except when the cruise line turned it from a seventeen day cruise to a fourteen day cruise because of dry dock issues, I got mad and canceled. Cliff said he was still going, so I re-booked and down sized from a balcony to an ocean view. Good enough, I thought. Besides it saved me a lot of money.

This is the cruise that we had a hard time planning for. I guess deep down inside we didn't think we were actually going to make it. We bought airfare at a month out. We usually fly to Florida, spend the night and then board the ship the next day. To save money this time, we decided to take a red-eye. It arrived early in the morning on the cruise day.

With about a week to go, we realized we didn't have anything planned, so we purchased a couple of shore excursion through the cruise line. It's something we rarely do.

We had done that a long time ago in Ketchikan. It was forty-five dollars for the Loggerodeo. When we got off the ship, we gathered under the Logger Rodeo shore excursion sign where they passed out our tickets and pointed to where the Logger Rodeo was. We walked over there only to find out the tickets were thirty-five dollars. You save ten dollars if you didn't have anyone pointing the direction.

The ship had been sold out, so there was no way of upgrading. A few days before the cruise, someone mentioned on the cruise board that there were balcony rooms available. I re-booked the balcony. The coronavirus has everyone spooked.

The day before, I'm standing in Walmart getting a few last minute items when Cliff calls. “Where you at?” He's already on Miami Beach basking in the sun.

“Still in Mount Vernon.” I'm rethinking this sleeping on the plane and arriving refreshed. My friends had just come home off a cruise and their plane had been delayed eleven hours. If ours is delayed that long, we'll miss this cruise. Instead of having the peace of mind Cliff is having at knowing he's going to make the ship, I get to worry about it.

We count down as we make each connection. We arrive at the airporter shuttle. Connection one.

We decide to park our car there so we don't have to bother anyone to drive us back and forth. The guy on the phone is grumpy when we call and now that we've arrived, the gal behind the desk is grumpy. Do they only hire grumps? The bus driver is friendly though. We overhear him saying he's going to start wearing a mask and gloves. Are we really going across country in the middle of an epidemic?

We arrive at the airport. Connection number two.

Its unnerving having some of your fellow passengers wearing face masks. I go from what do they know that I don't know? to insulted that they think I'm diseased. Trying to ignore them, we wait for the plane. Dinner didn't happen and the airport food is both expensive and awful. I pay too much for a sandwich I hate and throw away half.

The plane boards at the appointed hour and I'm greatly relieved to hear the engines roar to life. Connection number three, we're on the plane.

When calculating our ability to sleep on the plane, we never remember to factor in the people behind us. The mother keeps complaining about her long labor to bring the kid into the world. I peeked back, the 'kid' has got to be in his thirties. Get over it already.

She's says at one point, “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.”

Keep talking loud and I'll take care of that for you. They finally settle down and I close my eyes. In the end it doesn't matter if they are talking or not, I'm not sleeping.

Day One Embarkation

I've gone from playing games on the seat back entertainment unit, to closing my eyes and trying to sleep. Deb has the aisle seat and I have the window. The plane isn't full. The guy in the row across from us has it to himself. I again question my sanity for traveling in the middle of an epidemic.

The plane comes in for a smooth landing, this pilot is good. Connection four.

Our plan has already fallen apart. Deb is looking more like a zombie than the cute wife I once knew. She falls asleep during breakfast and doesn't finish it.

We drop off our bags at a hostel and head to the beach to see the sunrise. In fact, hours later, we are still at the beach. Deb sticks her toe in the ocean and declares, “It’s too cold.” I'm braver than that, I go up to my knees. I have my swimsuit on, but I don't have anywhere to change back to my regular clothes, so I just leave my swimsuit on all day and put pants over it.

Sunrise over South Beach

Miami

South Beach

It’s in the mid-eighties soon and we've seen as much of South Beach as we care to. We've walked up and down the whole thing. We head for the ship.

We have a specific time that we are allowed to board so the cruise line can stagger the boarding times. We're three and a half hours early. Breakfast cost thirty-five dollars and lunch is going to cost more than that. The buffet closes at three, and it’s free.

We are put in the naughty line when we arrive. The cruise line people walked up and down the line saying “Priority?” If you weren't you, would soon be joining our line. There are three lines. The priority people, the ones that arrived when they should have and the naughty people. The priority people were taken through security first followed by the good people. They let us through a few at a time.

Then they set us down in the middle of a big room where the priority people had the nice chairs.

Cliff and Marilyn, who had the same boarding time as us, followed our bad example and arrived early. We had such a nice talk as we waited to board.

Your passes were numbered, and the cruise line started one number at a time. Then they went to two or three, then to five or six, finally they said, “All sections, get on the ship.”

By the time we should have arrived at our designated boarding time, we had gotten on the ship, eaten lunch (including second lunch) explored the ship and had a nap. So much for following the rules.

I hate muster drills and this one was particularly miserable. Standing on the deck bunched up in a massive group. One man in the back mentioned, “Aren't we supposed to leave six feet between us and the next person during this coronavirus outbreak?” We didn't have six inches. Again I questioned my sanity.

We stayed out on the deck for a minute to watch sail away. It was at six. Deb looked over the railing and saw half the food was still on the dock. She pointed at the watermelons and said, “They better not leave those.”

They didn't, nor did we leave at six. In fact, we gave up waiting for sail-away and went down to dinner. Sometime before dessert, the ship left port.

Leaving Miami

Miami in the distance

I do not like the way Carnival does a lot of things, but I do have to say the ships décor is striking, not depressing. Our fellow passengers are very friendly and the food, so far, is great. Deb and I wanted to head to the show, but sleep is more important, so we skip it. According to my app on my phone, we've walked seven and a half miles today, mostly through sand, not slept but fifteen minutes in the last forty-eight. But we made our last connection, we are on the ship.

Our stateroom

Atrium from the elevator

The view from the balcony

Day Two, Sea Day

Fun day at sea is what they call it. I would agree with that. I thought it wasn't going to be when the day started, but as it went on, we were having more and more fun.

Breakfast was in the main dining room. I had an omelet. It was really good but also really small. Deb didn't like her breakfast.

We went to trivia, actually four times this day. The first trivia we were a minute late so we didn't hear it was are you smarter than a fifth grader trivia. The answer is, mostly.

James Bond Trivia was really hard. We got two right. The other two trivia we tied for first. One was true or false. If the lady writing down the answers would have listened to us, we would have won.

I was worried that trivia was the only thing going on the ship. Deb and I met up at music trivia. A couple sat down on the couch next to us as the whole place was packed and I had gotten there early to write. I moved my computer out of the way and invited the couple to play with us. It’s a good thing I did, because the guy was a music trivia encyclopedia. We again tied for first. They tried to make us take the trophy. All I did was say, “I think that's right,” while Deb wrote down the answers, he gave it to her. I took a picture with Deb and the trophy, then gave it to them. I took their picture, even though I forgot to ask their names.

The music trivia was a blast. The cruise director didn't like people walking through his trivia game so he would say things like, “The woman wearing sunglasses inside.” We would all cheer and clap like the person had just jumped the Grand Canyon in a motorcycle. One fellow turned bright red, another hurried out of the room. I noticed that after a while, everyone walked around the trivia instead of through the middle.

As he gave the questions and later on the answers, we all sang along. It was good fun.

Wandering around the ship, we found a candy store. It’s one where you fill the bag. As much as they feed us, you wouldn't think we needed a candy store. It was packed though. We even bought some. They were half off. Deb loves a good deal.

We forgot to pack the binoculars. We kept seeing interesting things off the side of the ship and wishing we had binoculars.

We met up with Cliff and Marilyn for dinner again. We don't see them much around the ship. They don't do the activities we do so we don't get together except at dinnertime. It’s fun to catch up with them and get a report. I don't think they have the ports planned. His goal is to relax and he looks like he's accomplishing that.

Dinner was packed. They gave us a pager and told us to wait in the lounge. There was no room in the lounge so we stood and talked until a place opened up where we could sit. I said that I didn't think the pager was working. A few minutes later they came and got us saying they had room now. I was right, it didn't work. It was dress up lobster night, so that explained the huge crowd. I am hoping that the rest of the cruise isn't that crowded. I couldn't decide between the prime rib and lobster so I ordered them both. Cliff thought it was a great idea so he ordered them both also. Deb said the lobster tail was small so she ordered two lobsters and the sea bass. We were all plenty full by the end of dinner.

Deb and I headed down to the comedy club. They guy was awesome. We only caught the tail end of his show. I hope he's there again. I enjoyed that.

Pool deck

We won!

Team mates Sue and Phillip

60s and 70s music trivia, we all sang along to the songs

The main show was good. I've seen a lot of shows on cruise ships that made no sense to me. Weird scenes where the dancers turned into plants. This one made sense. The dances went with the songs. It was called 88 keys. They had a piano player that serenaded us while we waited for the show to start. Then the show itself was about a piano player. The dancers were talented, and they could sing too. It was well done.

Day Three Sea Day

We went to the buffet for breakfast. It’s a bit chaotic. The main dining room is better for meals, I think just because the crowds are not there. Might try that tomorrow. I have no complaints about the food. Of course, I ate a hot dog today and loved it so I'm not a foodie in any way, shape, of form.

We won trivia again this morning. I know you're tired of hearing about trivia, but that's the main event of the morning. We gave the trophy to Phil. He joined us for trivia and knew most of the answers. He was on his way to give it to a kid. Good luck finding one of those on board. We went to the birthday party for Dr. Seuss and the ship could only round up four kids. Since I'm a kid at heart, I had some birthday cake.

Dr. Suess' birthday party

Lunch was a hodge podge of three different food places. I'm hoping not to start an international war inside my stomach. Deb keeps watching the news as the coronavirus spreads across the United States. I'm now thinking we might be the lucky ones to get out of town just as things are getting bad. We might miss it altogether. Even though, looking around me, getting people to activities is what a cruise line does best and its packing them in on this one. If anyone is sick, it’s going to spread through this crowd like wildfire. There are a lot of older people on the ship so it would take a heavy toll.

We expected health checks in Miami but there were none. The crew was checked, in fact a lot of the crew come from areas that have travel restrictions, so they had to extend the contracts of the ones who were still on the ship. We have noticed the ship has gone to a different protocol today. They dish out the food instead of letting the passengers do the self-serve buffet. When we first got on the ship we noticed a lack of hand sanitizers. A lot of the ones they had didn't even work. Today, they are all working and there are crew members with spray bottles ready to spray the hands of those who don't use the hand sanitizers.

Our safe stopped working so I called the front desk. About two minutes later a man came up. He sounded Russian. He said to lock it. I was leaving it open so our stuff wouldn't be locked in there forever. I responded, “I don't really want to lock it because I don't know if it will open.”

“No problem, I will unlock it with this.” He held up an electronic gizmo with a wire sticking out of it. I kinda felt talked down to.

Ignoring my fears, I locked it. It wouldn't unlock. He plugged in his electronic gizmo. It wouldn't unlock. “I'll call maintenance.” He walked out. Luckily maintenance came within five minutes. He had me take everything out of the safe after he manually opened it. The he replaced then batteries. Clicking some buttons, he shook his head. He took off the back plate and shook his head again. Soon, a new safe was brought up. It works great.

Tonight's dinner was my least favorite so far. The linguini is good, but I won't order the fried chicken again. Cliff even said it needed salt and he doesn't add salt to his food. All the salt shakers have disappeared from the tables.

Day Four Cartagena

Does anybody know what time it is? There was an announcement over the intercom late last night. “It's daylight savings time but you will not be setting your clocks back as ship time will be the same time we're on currently. We are going west so it doesn't make sense for us to change time then change it right back, besides Columbia doesn't do daylight savings time, so we'll be on the same time as they are. “

“But your cell phones and some electronic devices will automatically switch to daylight savings time, so use your mechanical watches, as they are the ones that will have the right time. Any questions?”

Of course, you can't ask questions to an announcement. So no one did.

We had a tour the next morning, so we dutifully set our wake up call to six thirty in the morning and went to sleep.

The phone rang at 5:30, this is your 6:30 wake up call, it said when I picked it up. Now I'm confused. I look at my watch, it's 5:30. I look at the computer, it says 3:30, I look at my cell phone, it’s says 6:30. I look at the Carnival official app. The ship's time is 6:30.

We are nearing Cartagena by this point so Deb and I go up and watch us come in to port. The guy next to me is complaining that the buffet wasn't open at six. He waited until six thirty, but there was no one there. I looked at my watch, it says 6:15. Someone didn't get the memo. An hour later the ship's time, my cell phone and my watch all have the same time. It's only the computer that's off and it has no internet access to figure out what time it really is.

I overheard someone teasing the cruise director about the one hour early wake up calls. He shrugged and said, “You know, this modern technology.”

Coming into Cartagena

The ship from the tour boat

We had a ship's tour called Cartagena by land and sea. We hurried off the ship when they announced we had cleared the port. My heart sank when I saw a row of buses. But it was okay, because our bus filled up quickly and we were on our way. We drove about thirty feet when they took us off the bus and onto a boat. As I go to step on the boat, it’s a long step even for me. I'm thinking, I'm going to rip my pants. Luckily I didn't and I even climbed the ladder to the top of the two tiered boat. The announcer spoke by microphone from the bottom of the boat and then we had another one, without a microphone, explain what the announcer was trying to say.

They kept telling us about old town and the new town. Because there is an island in front of the town, there are two entrances to the harbor. The small one, is the one to take as the large one has an underwater stone wall across it to rip out the bottoms of pirate ships trying to invade the town.

It is the best town in Columbia, according to the announcer, because he lives there and he is not partial in any way. The boat passes a peninsula. He explains that the navy used to have a fort there where they kept the gunpowder, but a fourteen-year-old, sailor made a mistake and blew up the fort. So now they keep the gunpowder on the island even further away. They never said what happened to the fourteen year old, leaving us to assume the worst. They now have officers housing where the fort once stood.

Church downtown

Simon Bolivar

Fortress

Old town from atop the fort

Guard house

On top of the fort

New part of the city

Ramp to the top of the fort

Further in, they show us a beautiful sandy beach. He says the nicer beaches are on the island where they have coral sand, this sand is darker and is volcanic. I do see what looks like a volcano on the edge of town and wonder why anyone would build a city so close to one, but then I think of Seattle and Mount Rainier.

The boat makes a u-turn at this point and we head past the navy base. The ships of the Colombian Navy are just a spitting distance away, including submarines and supply ships. We make another u-turn into the harbor where the Spanish galleons would take the treasure they looted from the natives. They would also bring slaves from Africa through there to build their fortifications and city.

When we meet back at the dock, we take the bus in to the old part of town. We stop at what used to be the prison. It has been refurbished into a bunch of shops. They allow us to wander around for about a half an hour. We are pressed on all sides by street merchants. At first there are only a few, but then we are mobbed.

When we are bused to old town, it gets worse. I am offered belts, cigars, hats, t-shirts, tablecloths, dresses, necklaces, jewelry, beer, water, and suntan lotion. The lady with the suntan lotion carried it between her breast and pulled it out and tried to rub it on my arm. The wife stopped her. A little later a man walked by trying to sell ants. “The largest ant you've ever seen.” Or wanted to. I can just see me trying to get that back on the ship.

The only way the street merchants would let you alone was to duck inside a store where the inside merchants pounced on you. At one point, three boys cornered me and began rapping about me, then held out a hat for a tip. The dollar I gave them didn't impress them much.

We stopped at the emerald museum. The tour conveniently ended at the emerald gift shop. Columbia has the best emeralds on the planet, according to them. By the time we arrived back at the bus, we were more than happy to go back to the ship. Our first stop was the beverage counter where we got some lemonade.

Marilyn didn't show up to dinner, but Cliff was there. We had to wait again. We've put back our dining time to 7:15 in hopes that we won't have to wait as long. I hate seeing the lady behind the podium with pagers ready to hand out. I only had the one entree tonight. The show was fun. I don't remember the name. It’s getting to be all the same already, singing and dancing, then more singing and dancing. I'm ready for something else.

Day Five Panama Canal

I read the Path Between the Seas before coming on this cruise. I actually read it the second time I booked the cruise, thinking for sure would be the one we took. That was three bookings ago, but today, I took the path between the seas. I was up on deck or looking out my balcony window almost the whole time. All I can say is, “Wow.”

Our wakeup call came an hour early. When we woke up, we looked out to see where we were. We couldn't tell, so we went up on deck. Being close to a bridge, we wanted to watch us go under it. So we sat there for about forty-five minutes until we went under the bridge. Then the Gatum Locks were right there, so we waited until we got to the locks. We'd been out in the sun for about an hour by this point and neither one of us had put on sun block. I ran down and put some on then we met on deck three where the locks were just right there. In fact you could almost touch them, which I tried so I say, almost. I was able to do it a little later on, but I wasn't supposed to do it, so I was told. I found a spot in the shade with a deck chair and Deb and I watched the locks go by. We even talking to one of the workers for a minute.

The Atlantic Bridge

This is all that is left of the French effort to build the Panama Canal

Gatum Lock

Bridge of the Americas

When we were through the first set of locks, it emptied out into Gatum Lake. We retreated back to the cabin for this part. I would check on our progress every few minutes and if there was something interesting, I would venture out onto the balcony.

As we entered the canal itself, Deb and I were up on deck again. We sat there the whole way through the cut they made to make the canal. At the hills around the canal’s steepest part, it’s one-way travel, because ships are bigger these days. They are talking about expanding it, but they've just finished the new locks.

Panama Temple

Centennial Bridge

They now have three bridges over the canal. It used to be they had a ferry that went across, but traffic got too busy for it, so they built the Bridge of the Americas. About fifty years later, they built the Centennial Bridge. Now they have a bridge along the east coast of Panama, too.

It was fun to be in a ship that raised and lowered. At one point, we were next to a ship that was going down as we were going up. Then you watch as the gates open and they head into the next lock.

A very large container ship passed us by heading towards the new locks. We watched it. The new locks are down further than the old ones, so we were losing height and he wasn't. After we passed through the last lock, they took us to the side and kept us there. I could see some men mulling around the ground to the side of the ship. They brought out a short gangway with wheels. The man with the radio spoke back and forth to someone in Spanish. Then I heard him say, “We have a ladder.”

Two more men came up carrying a three step and put it at the base of the gangway. A little while later, he said, “What are you waiting for?”

“The ambulance.”

‘Okay, this is getting interesting,’ I think.

A while later, an ambulance and a fire truck pull up. The EMTs put on masks and my heart sinks. If this is the coronavirus, then we're all doomed. Suitcases come out and are piled next to the ambulance, then they wheel in a gurney and wheel it back out with a person on it. Couldn't really see who it was, but a middle-aged woman gets into the ambulance with the person.

The canal authority getting their pilot back

We are underway shortly after that. As we are leaving the canal, I see one of our temples on the hillside. After we pass through the Bridge of the Americas. This was what we had wanted to see all those years and it didn't disappoint. However, we are both tired from standing in the hot sun for that long. I worried about Deb, as her arms were turning red, and I sunburn easier than she does. We headed down to the cabin and rested, then went to dinner with Cliff and Marilyn. It was fun comparing notes about the canal with them.

Day Six Sea Day

Does anybody know what time it is? Part 2.

Deb says let's go, trivia is about to start. We headed down to the Java Blue cafe. No one from the cruise staff was there. We waited for fifteen minutes for them to show up. Still no one. Deciding to go to breakfast, we found the doors closed to the dining room. According to the schedule, it was supposed to be open. It was then I checked my app. The app said it was 8:04, my phone and watch said 9:15. We didn't get the memo. I went back to the room and checked all of our paperwork. There was no mention of a time change. We could have slept another hour.

Charging all our electronic devices with one again, off again plug is hard. I can't charge it overnight because I need it for the CPAP. So in the morning I'm switching devices as one battery gets low. Deb doesn't like leaving the electronics out so we can't charge them while we are out of the stateroom. Nothing gets more than seventy percent before something else needs to be charged..

We won two trivia today. The second one Deb was embarrassed. I saw the encyclopedia of music, that's what I call him anyway, trying to find a place to sit, so I jumped up and went over to him saying, “We have room over here.” Sometimes, it's all about winning.

Our first win we had a few repeat questions from an earlier trivia.

Worries about the coronavirus are weaving their way into a lot of conversations. In an enclosed population like a cruise ship, it could be devastating if one person had it, it would spread quickly to the rest of us.

Dinner tonight was good, I had the beef tenderloin. Deb and I went up to the buffet. I still don't have that place figured out. I have to wander around until I find what I want. It would be so much easier if it was all in one place instead of stations that are far apart.

Day Seven Puntarenas Costa Rica

I woke up early and watched us coming into port. Deb was up soon after and we went up on deck and then to breakfast. Most of the buffet was closed so the lines were long. I got into a line thinking that it was the normal scrambled egg line, but to my surprise, it was the omelet line and I was near the front by this point. Bacon, peppers, onions, and lots of cheese later I had a fabulous breakfast.

We walked out onto the dock, not knowing what we were going to do in Costa Rica. Deb stopped in front of a guy with a sign. I couldn’t understand a word he was saying, so we went to the next guy with a sign. Deb liked what he was telling her. He had to get at least eight people to sign up before he would leave. Deb went back to the room to get more money, and I sat there. Soon another couple came along and we were half way there. Then two couples came up, and he had his eight. Deb wasn't back yet. Actually she was, but they had decided they needed to adjust the gangway and she was stuck in the ship for ten minutes. Meanwhile, a man and his dog decided to join us. The dog and he served in Afghanistan together. A terrorist set off a road side bomb and the man suffered brain damage. The dog went after the terrorist. The terrorist shot the dog. Even though he was wounded, the dog proceeded to tear the man apart. “He really tore into him,” the man with the dog reiterated. They were both taken off active duty. Now the man and his dog travel the world. The dog has been on seventy cruises, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't had to pay for a single one. “I have a filing cabinet of the paperwork I need to get 'Sarge,' into different countries.”

We drove forty-five minutes through the countryside to the rain forest. Stopping for refreshments, some of us got a little too refreshed, like the woman in the front seat that tasted moonshine made from sugar cane for the first time. At least she was a happy drunk. She bought a bottle to take home with her on the way back to the ship.

Frigate bird, my new favorite bird

Our tour group, Sarge, the dog is at the feet of the guy in green

Fruit where cashews come from

Crocodile

Crocodiles at the base of the bridge

There were two places to go, a nature walk, or a river boat cruise. We opted for the riverboat cruise, but so did the drunk lady.

We hopped in the boat along with about twenty other people. The announcer was good. He complained about the river being so low. We soon found out, when one of the boats around us got stuck. It gunned the engine and black mud and water shot up into the air. Our boat managed to avoid them. They finally freed themselves, but at the next bend in the river, yet another boat was stuck. The whole boat was at an angle where it ran aground. My thought is they should have put everyone in the back to shift the weight, then try to free it. Nope, that's not what they did. Several men from the other boats jumped in the knee-deep water to push the boat off the sand bar.

I wasn't about to get out in crocodile infested waters to push a boat. Turns out there was a eighteen foot crocodile less than thirty feet away.

The announcer kept having to go to the back to adjust the height of the engine. “If we get stuck,” he said, “we can't call AAA. You're going to have to get out and push, but since I am a gentleman, it's ladies first.”

We saw more than one crocodile on that trip. We saw all sorts of birds and interesting things. A pink bird, I thought was very pretty. We saw about a dozen crocodiles, some only a few feet away, at one point. Two birds manage to get fish right in front of us. The fish would be flapping around in their beak, then suddenly they were gone.

When we arrived back to the nature hike group they were a mess. Sweaty and tired, they climbed in the van. It was too hot to see a lot of wildlife, one of them had even slipped down one of the hills. The dog, Sarge, seemed to have the most enjoyable time. Someone had commented that he seemed fearless going up and across all the bridges. The owner smiled, “He has rappelled out of helicopters, parachuted out of planes and a lot of other crazy stuff.”

On the way back, we drove through the town of Puntarenas. The driver was bragging about how they had eighty percent middle class in the country, but I didn't see a single house that I would have liked to live in. Most of the buildings in town had bars on the doors and windows. That says they have a high crime problem to me, despite his claims to the opposite. They even warned us on the ship not to wear a lot of jewelry when we walk around.

We arrived back on the ship tired and sore. We dropped off our bags and headed to the buffet right before they closed. We ate, but didn't get a chance for dessert, so we went down to the room and ordered room service.

We're finding that we're going through more clothes than we expected. We had enough for fourteen days, but if you go into town or sit up on deck too long, you get sweaty and sticky wet, so you come down, have a shower, and change clothes. Now you don't have enough for two weeks. So, we did laundry today then came back and hung it all over the stateroom to dry. It looks like a New York tenement house in here.

After dinner we went to the comedy club, but didn't like it, so we went up to the show. It was a ventriloquist. It was better than the comedian. Yes, we finally made the show. We've been so tired that we come to bed around nine each night.

Day Seven Sea Day

There were about twenty people with pagers waiting for brunch in the main dining room. We decided to go up to the buffet instead. It's the same food day after day. It wouldn't be so bad on a shorter cruise, but it’s a fourteen day. I just want to eat breakfast in the main dining room without a forty-minute wait. I've stopped my whining.

I went to a question and answer session with the captain and senior officers. A lot of questions were on the coronavirus. Eight questions on that alone. The captain said there was no one on the ship being quarantined over the virus, so that was good news. One lady said she was a recent widow and wanted to know if any of the men up there were single. A few of them pointed to their fellow officers at which she responded, “Call me.”

Someone asked why they were painting a spot on the ship. “We had a bit of a bump against the canal, but it’s been painted now.” Another person asked the question I was going to ask about why the water tasted like diesel oil. The water system was explained, but it didn't answer the question. The captain said, “We will give you free bottled water.”

One man asked, “How about beer instead?”

The slide

Another thing that came out of the discussion was the water slide was fixed. We have a brand-new water slide on the ship that we can't use. It's green and sits there taunting us every time we walk by. With high hopes, Deb and I went up to play on it. “It's not open yet. Come back at one.” That wasn't true either.

Main dining room

As we made our way back, we noticed that the slide was flooding part of the Serenity Bar one deck down.

A terrible thing happened to me on my way back from checking if the slide was open. A man with a plate full of food stepped into the elevator. I joked that he was eating healthy. “Oh it's not for me, it's for the wife. She has a cold that's kicking her butt.”

She might have a cold, or she might have the virus. If she does have the virus, then I might have been exposed, but probably not. Should I be worried now?

Day Eight Puerto Quetzal

We went up to the buffet because we didn't have much time before our tour started. It turns out, we did. We were delayed disembarking because the port is really worried about the virus. We were forty-five minutes late getting off the ship, but the cruise director told us as we were leaving that we would stay in port an extra hour. They were wrong there too. More on that later.

When we did get off, there were people in medical masks all over the place. I whispered to the wife, “I'm not buying anything from someone in a mask.”

Volcano with steam coming out

Antigua Guetamala

The base of the volcano that has destroyed the town twice

A better view of that volcano

Church destroyed by an eruption

When we approached the tourist area, we had a digital thermometer scanning our foreheads. We arrived at the bus and they had masks on, too. It was really creepy being treated like I was bringing them the plague. As soon as we left the port area, though, the mask came off the driver and tour guide, not to reappear until the tour was over and we were in the port again.

As we drove an hour and a half from the port to the old capital city of Antigua Guatemala. It lost its ability to be the capital when it was destroyed by a volcano. The big bus we took from the cruise terminal is too big to fit into the small streets of the town, so they transfer us to smaller buses. The cobblestone streets are so bumpy, one man commented, that he now had to go to the bathroom. I had to go the bathroom before, now I really have to go. It nearly jarred it out of me. They dropped us off at the Emerald Museum, which is a misnomer. It’s mostly there to sell you emerald jewelry.

We walked around town. Again, the street vendors were merciless. Deb kept saying, “They're only doing their job.” Then she would stop to buy something and four more vendors are now surrounding her. We ditched them by ducking into the church. We sat there resting for a few minutes. They barred the main entrance so we headed out through the side. That worked until Deb stopped to buy something, and now she's surrounded, again.

The volcano overshadows the town, and it is a scary thing to think it’s live. You can take a picture through the archway of Santa Catalina. The volcano is clouded in, but I take the picture anyway.

This one guy tried to sell me a cheap flute for twenty bucks, by the time I was two blocks down, the price was five dollars. I found the same thing in a market for three. He would have made a hefty profit if someone would have given him the twenty. I guess they truly are just doing their job. We made our way back to the Emerald Museum where the small bus will take us back to the big bus, which takes us back to the ship.

We've come back to the market across from the ship and run into Cliff and Marilyn. They tell us the waterslide is fixed, so after a quick lunch, Deb and I don our swimming suits and head up there. The yellow one is more mellow, so we try it out for size. I'm a large man and am self-conscious about the size of my gut, so when I go swimming, I wear a t-shirt. Deb speeds down the waterslide, but I have to pull my way down, as I am stuck.

They tell me to take off my t-shirt. I turn to see Cliff and Marilyn at the base of the slide watching us, so I toss my t-shirt to him. Deb is the first to go down the faster slide. You step in a tube and wait for the guy to push the button. When he does, the floor falls out from under you. I watch him as he pushes the button over and over again. Nothing happens. She stepped out right as the guy fixes it, so she steps back in. Swoosh, and she's gone. I try to see where she went, but she's already out.

My turn. The guy tells me to cross my arms, he should have told me to plug my nose too, as that's where most of the water went. It seems to last for only a quick second. You tossed every which way then splash down at the end.

Deb wants me to go on the yellow one again, now that my shirt is off. So I do. It’s so much faster this time, I think it’s more fun than the big one. The time to set sail comes and goes. An ambulance pulls up, and two more people are disembarked. One of them is in a wheel chair. Besides being an hour late in leaving, we are now two more hours late, because there is no hospital close by and the ambulance is a ways away. Boy am I glad I bought travel insurance.

Dinner was good. Had fun talking to Cliff and Marilyn. Then we went to the show. The cruise director came up on stage and announced that Carnival Cruise Lines was ceasing operations as of midnight. They will be disembarking guest at the nearest practical port. Luckily for us, that wasn't Guatemala. In fact the plan is to deliver us to San Francisco as planned. We might be the last ship sailing the sea. I'm feeling guilty and apprehensive all at the same time.

The show was a hypnotist. People volunteered to go on stage and he would hypnotize them. Several of the audience members were also hypnotized.

At first it was only relaxation, then he had two women stand up and take a bow every time the audience would clap, as if we were clapping for them. Then he had one guy believing he was stuck to a chair. The rest of the participants were sent back down to their seats, where they were told hypnotism was fake. They would argue the point until the guy on stage would say sleep and those arguing the point would promptly fall asleep. Then he had them dancing in the aisle with strangers.

When the show ended, he told the hypnotized ones that they wouldn't remember a thing until they stepped out of the theater. Of course the rest of us exited and loitered around as they came out. The shock on their faces as they realized what had just happened was hilarious. One woman, the one that took a bow every time we clapped, put her hands over her face and made a run for it. Poor people.

Day Nine Sea Day

The plan was to sleep in this morning, but we were both up before the sun even thought about it. The announcement of last night has us upset. I know it’s bothering me.

During lunch, we sat by a couple of women from Argentina. They have to self-isolate for 14 days when they get home and are wondering if they can get home. I'm wondering the same thing, but if I can't find a flight, I can take a train or a rent a car. It would be miserable, but I can make it. I don't know what they are going to do. So far, the Canadians, the Australians, and the Argentinians have to self-isolate. The Brits are all ordered home. I heard one lady say, “I'm stuck on a cruise ship. I can’t get home until it stops.” Some of the passengers are trying to figure out how to fly home from Cabo. It’s a mess here.

On a good note, saw a bunch of dolphins playing in the ship's wake. They were jumping all of the way out of the water, which was so clear, that you could see them swimming below the surface. Should be able to see whales in a day or two.

Overheard a staff member tell her parents, “You know we’re the last cruise ship still sailing?” That's a weird thing to hear. I'm worried about Cabo. I see it going three ways:

1. We are denied entry.

2. We are disembarked and have to find our way home from there.

3. It's a regular port day and we have a blast.

I figure I have a 33.3% chance on the latter. When I went to bed, we were just west of Acapulco, still doing twenty-one knots, trying to make up time for our late departure from Puerto Quetzel. So far, the plan is the plan.

Deb and I went to see the comedian after dinner. He used to be one of Gladys Knight's Pips. He can still move after all these years. He's funny, too.

Day Ten Sea Day

Still having problems figuring out the time. Alarm clock, watch, Carnival app, and phone all have different times. Finally figured out that it’s way too early to be up, but since we are, we went and ate breakfast.

Deb and I went up to the front of the ship and looked out. We saw a bird dancing around the front of the ship. Then it was joined by more birds, then three dolphins showed up. The ship is going so fast that we quickly outdistanced them.

Today is retro cruise day so they are playing the games like horse racing and frog racing. Horse racing was fun. They have six horses on sticks on the stage. The cruise director rolls three dice and the number on the horse gets to move when the dice comes up with their number. For a two dollar bet you can wager on your horse. The odds are calculated and they pay out 100% of the money they took in. I don’t bet, but enjoy watching.

Horse number four won. It had a silly name like Trottsky or something like that. It paid out $8 for a win. The second round horse one won. It paid out $20 a ticket and one lady had five tickets. She was dancing in the aisle. Somewhere between the horse race and the frog race the captain came on and said that we were skipping Cabo and going straight to California, but commented that San Francisco isn't letting us dock. We are a speeding ship without a destination.

I had to send a note to work that I don't know when I'll be back. I don't know if I'll be back soon. Rumors are flying. We were in the pool and this guy from Canada was saying things like the cruise line is chartering a jet to get its crew members home. He thinks we'll end up in Los Angeles. Others think San Diego. I've also heard people say no port in California will accept us, so we'll have to go to Oregon or Washington. It's all a blur right now. The last ship that tried to dock in San Francisco had to spin in circles for days before they would let them in. Afterwards they were detained in a military base in Texas for two weeks.

Horse race

Frog race

The crew is doing its best to distract us. We had frog races today in the pool. You could buy a frog for five bucks and race it across the pool. There were three heats of nine. The frogs were about six inches long, battery-powered and green. When turned on, the arms and legs would move. They tended to go around in a circle more than move in a straight line. The racers had to splash at the pool water to get them moving.

Dinner was formal and we ate lobster. I had a part of a lobster and a tenderloin. Cliff and Maryland talked about how to get home We have three different scenarios. Drive home. Cliff says he'll do all the driving instead of letting us share. He doesn't like Marilyn's driving for some reason. The second is to rent a car and drive to San Francisco and take our original flights. It’s a six hour drive. The third is to fly home from where we're at. The further north the ship docks, the better off we'll be if we're driving home.

I watched the comedian. He wasn't as good as the day before. This one brought people on the stage and made fun of them. I didn't like it.

Day Eleven Sea Day

We were supposed to be in Cabo San Lucas today. We are straight west of it, but sixty miles off shore, passing it by quickly. We had planned to go whale watching there. We are now officially the last Carnival cruise ship still at sea in North America. Two others docked today, so we are now alone. The cruise director joked, “At least the home office is totally focused on us now.”

The ship has slowed down by three knots. Does that mean we've some place to be and no longer have to hurry to get there, or is it just them giving up and throttling back?

Right after trivia today, which we lost miserably, even with Cliff and Marilyn's help, we had an announcement from the captain, which was followed by the exact same announcement from the cruise director. We are going to L.A. We just don't know where we're going to dock, Long Beach or San Pedro. It doesn't matter to me, They are just across the bridge from each other. I booked airline reservations right away to avoid the rush. It's a good thing I did, because the internet was jammed ten minutes later. The cruise line is even going to bus us to the airports.

You can literally feel the tension of the last few days leave. The only thing that is worrying me is what I'm facing when I get home. We have everything provided to us here, but they are sick at home and I don't want to catch it, or if I get it on the flight home, I don't want to spread it. I'm seriously thinking about self-isolating when I get home to make sure I'm virus free before I go back to work.

So today I've canceled two flights and booked one. We won't be flying out of San Francisco and Deb decided it would be a really bad time to go and visit her mother. She's going to go in January instead, when hopefully all this mess is over. In fact, I'm personally boycotting San Francisco after they reneged on their promise to let us dock there. We have no coronavirus on the ship. There was no reason for them the break their contract with the cruise line.

There was a mid-afternoon show today. They had a couple of numbers from the production show, then some of the passengers that had been working with the production show, got up on stage and sang and danced.

At dinner I tried the alligator fritter. The meat was really chewy. I didn't like it, but at least I tried it. Otherwise, I had the steak.

The comedian wasn't funny, maybe that's why there was finally a place to sit down. The other one packs the house. Then we went to the show. It was fun, we both enjoyed it. Everyone seems so much more relaxed.

Day Twelve Sea Day

We woke up early, despite our best efforts not to. We both laid back down in a weak attempt to get back to sleep. It didn't work. The one good thing about all this was, we have a way home.

They held a disembarkation meeting. The cruise director told us they are trying to figure out how to use the port as they never use it. They think we'll be all done by 10:30. That works well for us because we need to be at the airport at around one.

We went to lunch in the main dining room. It was okay. I wouldn't go back if we had a couple of more days on the ship.

It was announced that we are going to dock at San Pedro dock 92. I'm all set. I have the flight, I'm checked in online, and I'm packed. It a weird feeling of wanting to hurry home because I believe that if I delay even a day, I might not make it home. Scary feeling.

We passed the Norwegian Joy. It’s sailing at 6.5 knots. The ship is empty except for the crew and it looks like it’s going to Acapulco until the 30 day stoppage is over. The world has changed so much since we've been gone.

Lobster Dinner

Had our last meal in the dining room with Cliff and Marilyn. Somewhere downstairs someone started singing I'm leaving on a jet plane, but the tune was changed to we're going to miss serving you and hurry back. It made us laugh. With the cruise line shutting down, the crew faces an uncertain future. Deb and I are so wrung out we headed to bed.

Day Thirteen Debarkation Day

We took a thirteen day cruise during an epidemic that turned into a pandemic, over Friday the thirteenth, and a super full moon. What can go wrong?

I got up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night. Deb has the news on and starts listing the bad things around the world, so when I try to go back to sleep. I'm all upset. It's two am and I'm writing this. I just want to get home today. I'm worried that L. A. will change its mind like San Francisco did, or they will cancel our flight. Only daylight will tell.

The ship sailed into port and no one turned us away. The cruise director told us to expect long medical checks. But like in Miami, there were none. The city said the crew had to stay on the ship, but they would allow the rest of us off. Those from the Bay area had to take a nine-hour bus ride to get home to the place we were supposed to disembark. They aren’t so happy. As for us, Deb and I stayed on the ship until the last minute. We had our luggage taken down for us, so we had no where to go until everything was organized.

We had a large breakfast as we knew we might not get another meal until we reached home. We were out of fresh food there. We had some canned stuff though.

Cliff was down at the buses while we were on the top deck looking down at them. He called, “Wave,” he said. When I did, he added, “I knew that was you. We’re down here by the buses.”

He waved back, “Oh, yeah. I can see you.” I replied. He was able to get an earlier flight than he had booked and got home about four hours before us.

Arriving at customs was weird. They didn’t want declaration forms like they normally do, he just looked at our passports, motioned with his head, and grunted, “That way for the exit.”

When we arrived downstairs and picked up our suitcases, we headed out to the buses. The bus to LAX was very long.

“Long Beach?” this lady asked us.

“Yes.”

“Right over there.”

We were the last ones on the bus and it took off less than a minute after we sat down. We arrived at the airport way too early, but it was nearly deserted, so I took a nap while Deb texted back and forth on her phone. I had mine charging.

We had twenty-five people on a plane that could hold six times that.

“I know your crowded back there, but it’s a short flight,” the captain joked.

We arrived in Seattle; it too was almost deserted as were the freeways. It’s all so surreal. A vibrant city brought to its knees. I don’t see these shutdowns and shelter in place as sustainable. Most of the businesses will be bankrupt before all this is over and we will be in a deep recession. As for me, I was just glad to get home.

Takeaways

Would I do it if I knew then what I know now? At first I thought no, but now I think yes. The whole cruise has been tainted with the thought of the coronavirus, but so has the whole planet. We visited amazing places and saw amazing things. We are safe, secluded, and away from the virus. I can't say the same thing when I step off the ship and into the airport.

If we would have had it on the ship it would have decimated us because the whole idea is to get people together in the shows and activities. That's the chance we took going in and it paid off. We had good times.

The ship is old and worn, despite having just come from a dry dock. The carpet in the halls was worn and stained. The water in the stateroom tasted like diesel oil. It wasn’t just me describing it as that either. I did notice by the end of the cruise, it was starting to get better. Probably will be fixed by the time it has paying passengers on it again. A weird thing about the stateroom bathroom. The lights took twenty seconds to come on. I timed them once. Twenty seconds is a long time when you have to go really bad. We left the light on the whole time.

The wow factor was less than on other ships. The food was tasty and I didn’t have a bad meal. It was weird seeing crewmembers sanitize the ketchup bottles.

The fellow passengers were friendly and most of them would talk to you. Some wouldn’t, mostly because of language issues.

All in all a good cruise.