Cruises: Transatlantic 2016

We were going to visit Deb’s mother and look around to see if retiring to Florida was feasible. While we were there anyway, I asked the wife if we could take a cruise. She said yes, so I started looking. I’m a sucker for a good deal. I use price per night as a weather-vane in determining the best deal. Everything I could find was between $75 and $100 a night. I like to pay less than that.
I found a transatlantic for a good price-per-night rate. I asked about that one.

She said no, because I would have to take a lot of time off from work, she doesn’t like being out of communication that long, it costs a lot of money to fly home, and it’s just too far.

I kept looking. I suggested four or five, but they didn’t have the wow factor because most of them were going to places we had already been and they weren’t good deals. I suggested the transatlantic again. She said no.

After looking and looking I couldn’t come up with anything.

Meanwhile our friends are asking when our next cruise is. When I tell them there isn’t one, they just stare at me for a moment and then say, “Really.” It’s like the time my older brothers told me the Easter Bunny wasn’t real.

At this point my wife is stressed out. I ask her for the third time about the transatlantic. She says yes. So just want get away and relax, the further the better.

Of course I booked it immediately, as she’s prone to change her mind.

We booked a guaranteed inside cabin for way cheap and sat in anticipation, waiting to get our room assignment. When we did, our hearts sank. It was a room by itself, right above the atrium. They play music in the atrium all hours of the night. The room was so bad that there was a warning on it from Travelocity about the noise level. We would have been happy with an inside, just not that one, so we upgraded to a balcony. It was more money, but still way under a $100 a night.

It seemed a little more stressful getting ready for a transatlantic rather than your normal cruise. That one thing you forgot, you can’t get it at the next port because there are seven days between ports. But it was an adventure, so we went with it.

The problem with booking cruises way in advance is waiting for the day to arrive. It finally did. We left the house at two in the morning to catch the airporter shuttle and arrived at the airport to catch an early flight.

Traveling all the way across country, diagonally, is bad enough, but to be boxed into those tiny seats with no leg room is just appalling. There ought to be a law against it. On both flights the guys in front of me put their seats back, restricting my legroom even more.

I didn’t get my normal window seat on the first flight, so I sat in the middle and let Deb have the aisle. That way I could at least see out. The guy at the window closed the blind. Argh.

It was nice and warm when we landed in Florida. Not unpleasantly so.

We went to get the rental car. The line was long, but at least it was slow moving. After about thirty minutes, I was up to the desk. They only had four people there. One was sitting on a stool and smiling like he was posing for a picture. He would yawn once in a while, but he wasn’t helping any customers. The other three were chatting about their families. I now know everything I’ve ever wanted to know about his 91 year old grandmother.

They tried to upgrade everything. The insurance, the car, the toll paying plate. No wonder it took so long. When we finally had the car, we made our way over to my mother-in-law’s. We were staying with her for a few days pre-cruise.

She was so happy to see us. Dinner was almost ready, she had also baked cinnamon rolls and a cake, some scones and cookies besides. Better than Best Western.

After having not gotten any sleep the night before and then traveling cross country, I slept like a rock that night. A full eight hours, something I haven’t done in a long, long time.

Our visit was a blast. We ate at all the restaurant chains that we don’t have out west. Perkins, Steak and Shake, and assorted others. One time we ate a place called Squid Lips. Strange name, but good food. The restaurant sat on a pier in the middle of the Indian River, in Sabastian, Florida.

The food was good

So one day I was swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, and the next day I was swimming in the Atlantic Ocean. Except I really didn’t swim in the Atlantic. The waves were so strong, when I waded out there, I was hit with a large one that sent me tumbling across the bottom. I was able to struggle to my feet. Later on, when I went to take a shower I found about a quarter cup of sand and little broken bits of sea shell in my swim trunks. No wonder I was so uncomfortable.

The reason we drove across the width of the state was to house hunt in Vero Beach. It was on Forbes list of the top 25 places to retire, so we decided to check it out.

Birthday flowers from one of her granddaughters

We celebrated my mother-in-laws birthday the night before, and then headed to the cruise terminal the next morning.

Victory Ship at the port

Turning the car in at the airport, we then found a taxi to take us to the cruise. We arrived at the port right at 11:30 and by 12:30 we were on the ship. We’ve had a lot worse embarkations. Vancouver comes to mind.

Standing on the helicopter pad

The ship is big, but not unfamiliar, as we have sailed a sister ship to this one. Everything’s just a little different, but not a lot different. Deb hadn’t slept well the night before, so she was a little draggy. We found people to talk to during the safety drill, so it wasn’t bad. Then we went up to deck twelve for an informal meeting with the Cruise Critic folks. Seems our cabin neighbors are from Bremerton, Washington, and are also member of Cruise Critic.

Centrum

There aren’t enough elevators on this ship and sometimes you have to wait a long time to get one. Even then they are sometimes full. We were riding down in a packed one when the elevator stopped on a floor that nobody wanted out on. This larger lady came from around the corner.

“Room for one more,” she said.

It wasn’t a question; it was more of a demand. She then charged like a linebacker trying to get through to the quarter back. She bounced off. There wasn’t room for her. That didn’t stop her from trying again though. After a second failed attempt to force her way in, she gave up in disgust and we continued down.

Our home for the next 14 days

After that we had dinner at Giovani’s. Everything looked good, so I ordered too much food. For the foodies out there, the steak was really good. The ravioli, so-so. I’d skip it next time. The lentil soup lacked flavor, but that was cured with a lot of salt. The eggplant Parmesan was delightful, and the chocolate cake was so dry, it was inedible. See, I told you I ordered too much food.

Having not slept for a day and a half, Deb went up to bed. I was going to go to evening trivia, but changed my mind and got the computer out.

The bathroom’s haunted. I found this out just after five a.m. I heard the sound of death throes and got up to investigate. I looked around until the sound came back. It was coming from the bathroom. Okay, it was more like the death throes of a rabbit and not a human, but I couldn’t get back to sleep at the thought of a poor creature dying, over and over and over again.

I was starving by this point, but I decided to wait. After all, it’s a cruise. There will be plenty to eat later on, so I thought. At six I finally got up. The dying rabbits had been silent for a half hour at this point. They died twice more shortly thereafter. It didn’t matter, I went looking for food.

Did you know there is no place open at six a.m? I just have to make a comparison to NCL at this point. They have a 24 hour restaurant on their ships. Okay, it’s not a true 24 hours because it’s not open between 1 and 2:30. But it’s a twenty two and a half hour restaurant.

All they have between 6-7am here is a snack area where you can get a roll or Danish and some coffee. While I was finding out about the lack of food, a man came up to me and told me this tale about him losing his key card. It was a long sad story, but in the end a happy one, because he found it again. I was so relieved. It was out of the blue because he walked up to me and said, “I lost my key card.” No hello, no nothing. I guess I looked like I needed to hear his sad tale. I don’t know.

I gave up on the food and headed back to bed. Speaking of the bed, I’m not normally a complainer, but that bed is hard. Deb suggested they could use it as a table. It has its own tablecloth. I lied down on it till one hip was in screaming in pain, then turned over until the other hip was in pain, then repeated the process.

We complained to the room steward about it, but they put one of the new mattresses in her room, too, and she had to sleep on it for months, not just fourteen days. She was empathetic, but couldn’t do much about it. “Not enough people have slept on it.”

The daughter always wonders why I let the grandkids jump on my bed. It’s not playing, I’m putting them to work softening it up.

I saw Cuba. The ship sailed surprisingly close to it. I could make out buildings on the shoreline and trees. It’s the first time I’ve seen it.

The trivia team

Played trivia twice, lost both times. I did go up and play miniature golf by myself. I shot a five under par in nine holes. Of course I have no witnesses and I can’t prove it, but I did, really.

It was formal night. I wore a tie. Almost everyone else had a jacket and some were in tuxes. Oh well, at least they didn’t kick me out of the dining room. Speaking of which, we finally made it into the main dining room for dinner and met our tablemates. All four are in a group. The waiter didn’t believe that was our table because he had had six people at it the night before and only six fit at the table. He asked to see our key cards to prove we belonged there. The group, mother, brother, sister, and mother’s boyfriend, were glad to see us there instead of the couple before us. I guess the lady had a service dog and was persnickety about where she sat.

The food was good tonight. The only complaint I would have is they put alcohol on about half the dishes. It’s hard for us non-drinkers as it limits our choices.

The show description was very vague. Just said show time with Craig Dahn. He was a piano player and I wouldn’t have gone if I had known, but I’m glad I went. He was amazing. Truly talented.

Another nice day. The ship is going around 22 knots. That’s the top speed of some ships. Ocean is flat and tame, for which we are thankful.

I had breakfast alone again. I managed to sit by a comedian, Paul from Houston. May, or may not, hear from him again. Today was the Cruise Critic Meet and Mingle. It was pretty much a flop. They had you bring your meet and mingle passes which had your drawing entry on it. 269 people there and all but sixteen remembered their invitation. Those who didn’t were able to put in hand written tickets. Out of those sixteen, four won some of the fifteen prizes. That left eleven prizes for the ones that did everything right. It was ridiculous to do it that way. If you forgot your pass, too bad, I think.

The cruise director wasn’t there. The head of housekeeping wasn’t there. The hotel director wasn’t there, neither was the captain or any of the officers. The Meet and Mingle is where the cruise line puts its best foot forward. If that’s your best foot, then you suck. The cruise coordinator was there but she left part way in. That put a lady in charge, who had never held a microphone before, by her own admission. It was a waste of time.

We met the couple from Bremerton again at a Trivia style game called ‘leading ladies.’ Afterwards we sat and talked for an hour and a half. They are on Cruise Critic and also have the cabin next door to ours, so we see them walking around the ship a lot.

That night we played games in the afternoon again, and then went to dinner. I must say, that the food on this ship is better than on our last Princess cruise. Deb had the roasted chicken and I had the roast beef. Food is repeating already. They had roast beef on the first day and the third, they had the same chicken dish on the second and third day. I don’t mind but I find it interesting.

Trivia is held in the Colony Club at the back of the ship. We have to wait for the special Diamond and above reception to finish before we’re allowed to go in. The funny thing is the crew doesn’t clean up from the party until after trivia so the players get the same snacks as the elite sailors. I don’t partake because I figure all that food has been sitting out an hour by the time we get there.

We came in second on Trivia 15/16. That’s the best we’ve done so far.

San Juan

We were watching the bridge cam to see when the island came into view. Deb changed the channel for just a minute. When we switched back, we were coming up on the fort that guards the harbor, Castillo San Felipe del Morro. I was getting dressed to go up on the deck when I realized the fort was on our side of the ship. All I had to go was go out on the balcony. We took a lot of pictures of us passing the fort.

Fort guarding the harbor

As we arrived in the harbor, the ship docked at the wrong pier. It should have docked across the bay, by the airport. That was fine by everyone, because we parked in the middle of old town. Deb and I ate a quick breakfast and then headed back to the stateroom. We put on sun block, and then bug spray over that. We were worried about the Zika virus.

As we are walking down the pier, this guy with a sign comes up to us. For twenty bucks, they will take us on a two hour tour of the city. It would be twice that for a ship sponsored tour so we said yes.

It was awesome having a Puerto Rican tell us about his island. It gave us a completely different perspective. He told us that forty seven percent of Puerto Rican’s want to stay a colony, another forty seven percent want to be a state. Three percent want independence. I don’t know what the rest want;he didn’t mention them.

He was one that wanted to stay a colony. If they made Puerto Rico a state then a lot of tax dollars would flow into it because it is a poor island. Welfare, free health care and aid. He said half the people didn’t want that. They don’t want the problems associated with a society that isn’t forced to work for a living. They want their children to work hard and go to school and try and better themselves.

The one thing they would like to change is being able to vote for the president. That can’t do that. A lot of Puerto Rican youth join the military to escape the poverty of the islands. They fight and die in the wars of the United States, even though they don’t have to. There is no draft for islanders. But they can’t vote for president.

The Capital Building in San Juan

Looking up inside the dome

We then parked at the capitol building where got off the bus. One the opposite side of the street were life size statues of the United States Presidents. I assume they were all there, but when I came out of the capital and started taking pictures of them, I noticed there were only about nine.

Deb asked the drivers where the other ones were. Maybe they were down the stairs or on the other side of the building.

“The others didn’t come to Puerto Rico while they were the president.” I found it funny. If you don’t treat us like we rate, then you don’t rate to us and your statue isn’t there.

Walk of Presidents

The capital building was gorgeous. It had different colored marble imported from all over the world.

While he was driving to the next destination, the driver was telling us that seniors don’t pay property tax. They don’t ever want them to be forced out of their houses. Also, grandma is the head of the family. I don’t know where that puts grandpa. What grandma says goes, period.

He pointed out a very poor part of old town with a lot of crowded housing against the coast. He told us that was where they put the poor people when they built Old San Juan. They put them there because the rich didn’t want to be that close to the water, because of all the storms and hurricanes. Now the hotels and condos want the gorgeous land right up against the water.

Graveyard beneath the fort

The government said no. It was bad enough that they were forced to live there in the first place. So no one but the original settlers can own those houses and they only transfer hands as an inheritance.

We were let off at a beach, but there were all sorts of warning signs telling people that they couldn’t swim there because of the dangerous currents. We wandered through the park taking pictures of the water and the sand.

Beach resort

Looking up the coast

The next stop was the fort that we took pictures of on the way in to San Juan. Castillo San Felipe del Morro. There is a huge grassy area in front of the fort and there were hundreds of people flying kites and running around. We didn’t have time to go into the fort itself, but were able to get close to it.

When we were let off, it was at Columbus Square. He recommended a nice restaurant, so we decided to come back there after it opened.

The fort from the land

Guard Tower

We walked around Old Town three times. The first round was to find a bathroom. It felt important at the time. Then we had to find a post office. The final time was to come back to the restaurant the driver recommended. When we decided to go back to the restaurant, I looked on the map for Columbus Square. Did you know the maps aren’t in English? Finally I realized he name wasn’t Columbus, but Colon, on the island. I found Plaza Colon, and we were able to find the restaurant.

We were almost at the southern fort and Deb accused me of being lost. We had been at the square twice before and had not seen the fort either time. This one is Castillo San Cristobal. Unlike the other fort that has most of its guns pointed out to sea, this one has most of its gun pointing towards the land. I guess it was in case the enemy gets around the first fort somehow, or, as my son Bjorn says, in case there is an uprising.

Street view

Another side street

We decided to just get something to drink instead of a heavy meal. I did have an empanada from a street vendor earlier. It might have been why I wasn’t feeling well earlier, or not.

It’s very humid and I am sweating profusely, so much so, all that insecticide and sun block I put on earlier is dripping off of me. Some of it dripped down in my right eye and was stinging. I needed a shower because I was sticky. It’s so humid, even the bus driver is complaining and he lives there.

We arrive back on the ship just as the rain starts. Could not have timed that any better.

Do I get to go to school today?

I get my shower and then Deb and I go to the sail away party. She is looking apprehensive for some reason. When the ship leaves the dock, we go up on the top deck to watch us sail away.

“Seven sea days. Doesn’t that worry you?” she says.

“No, it excites me.”

“What if we never see land again?”

“We’ll be fine.” I try to assure her.

“What’s the opposite of Land Ho?”

I think for a second. “Oh, no.”

Europe here we come sign

It’s the first sea day of seven. It’s weird to have that many in a row to say the least. Every day from now until Europe we’re going to set our clocks forward one hour. This happens at noon. So we lose an hour a day until we have lost seven hours. Deb wondered why they can’t just do it all at once. I guess it has with sunlight hours. The sun wouldn’t be rising until one in the afternoon if we did it that way. It would be strange.

Days are settling into a routine. Breakfast, trivia, lunch, nap, games, dinner, trivia, show, and then to bed. We aren’t doing good at trivia though and I’m wondering why I’m spending so much time losing.

Our course is a straight line

After playing games with our group, we sat around talking. Frank told Deb about this great book he was reading. Mediterranean Cruise, by the Cruise Addict’s Wife. He highly recommended it.

When I told him that it was Deb who wrote that book, he was shocked. He looked at me. Of course the first thing out of his mouth was, “Did you really eat tacos in Boston, and Mexican food in Hawaii?”

I had hoped Deb had taken those parts out, but no.

The show tonight was an impressionist. He was really good. I’m glad I went. His name was Paul Tanner.

Water in all directions

Sea day two, and there is nothing around us. We saw a ship going the other way on the first day, but today is nothing. I remember the first time I saw the ocean. I was amazed that I couldn’t see the other side. Now, every direction I look is the same, blue horizon. The ship is going fast, 23 plus knots. This is the fastest we have ever done. A lot of cruise ship don’t even have a 23 knot top speed.

Every once in a while a flying fish will take off and get away from the ship, but that is the only wildlife we see.

Breakfast on the Balcony

We changed our clocks forward at exactly noon. The captain announced the time change, it was also in the Cruise Compass, and the waiter told us about it. Still one couple managed to come to dinner an hour late. How can you be so uniformed?

We did the gift exchange today. I ended up with a flask and Deb ended up with a bottle of perfume. Oh, well. I had a nice mini-tripod for a minute, but it was stolen. I stole it from someone else, so I really can’t complain. I gave one of my books away. The guy looked at it dubiously, so I wondered if it were going even got read, but then someone else stole it from him. So now I think it will get read.

It’s Italian night for dinner in the dining room. It was also formal night, so I wore a red shirt and reddish tie, just in case I spilled lasagna sauce on me, it wouldn’t be noticeable.

The show was a violin player. Deb and I both went nah, but we stopped in to listen for a minute to the early show on our way to another venue. Wow, the girl can play. She was killing the Phantom of the Opera, so we changed our minds and went. Amy Lee is her name. We loved it.

Day 7. On a normal cruise, we would be packing our suitcases and getting ready to leave the ship, but on this one we’re only half way done. What a wonderful feeling.

We time warped again today. That’s what one of the guys we talked to on the elevator called it. Suddenly, noon is one o’clock. I hear we will have to do this every day until we hit Gibraltar. I wonder if I get ask for a refund of the six hours I lost going against the time zones. Then again, if I ever go transatlantic the other direction, I’d have to pay more, so never mind.

I finally reached that nirvana stage where body and soul are completely relaxed. It took seven days, but I’m there. It’s a feeling that I only get on cruises. I guess I’ll just have to go on longer ones from now on.

Had to do the Titanic thing

I'm flying

I saw a bottle float by. I imagined an eight year old writing a message and sticking it there in hopes that someone on a far shore would find it and respond. Then I saw a nylon rope float by. We must be on the edge of a current. We are in the mid Atlantic at this time. It’s sad that man’s garbage has polluted out this far.

I saw a flying fish after that. It cheered me up. It was as if nature was telling me that it was still going strong.

While we were in trivia, I saw something on the horizon. It was far away, but it was there. It was on the other side of the ship from the balcony, so I went up and grabbed the binoculars and rushed back down there. It looked like an oil derrick. One guy pointed out that the water was three miles deep where we were. So it was highly unlikely that they would be drilling, because they would have to go down three miles before the drilling even started.

Then I realized that it could be a communications array. Another person said it was a ship, but I’ve seen a lot of ships and this wasn’t one of them. It had cranes and a platform. Will have to research that when I get home.

Skipped lunch. I’ve been putting food, on top of food, on top of food, and I’m not digesting between meals. I finally said, “I’ve had enough.” I may do it tomorrow also.

Formal night

It was another time warp day. Right at lunch, the time turns to 1 pm, as if by magic. I’m told we have three more of those.

I’ve been having a lot of problems with the shower. The first night I used it, it was blazing hot. Then when I went to get a drink of water to take my pills, it was lukewarm The next shower I took I had the temperature turned all the way it, and it was barely tolerable, but when I turned it the other way, it was cold. Then the shower curtain got chummy with me. I leaned back a little and it grabbed my backside. I’m talking the middle of my back to my thighs. When I stepped forward it kept holding on. I had to pull it off. Today, I turn on the water and I can’t get it hot, so I turn it the other way. It gets very hot. I know for a fact that I had hot water by turning it the other direction last time.

Just to check, I turn on the sink, the same way I had hot water before and it’s lukewarm. Turning it the other way produces hot water again. I jump back in the shower and finish up.

I figure I’m just losing my mind, only I’m positive I’m not. When I get out I say to Deb, “The hot and cold water from the shower is reversed.”

“Oh, you noticed that too.”

Someone’s messing with us.

The show was a hypnotist. He did the typical sleep thing and then a couple of others tricks. The funniest thing he did was told the people that every time the cruise director would say his name, they would think their chair was on fire. He them sent them back into the audience.

The cruise director said the hypnotist’s name three times. Every time he did, one of the ladies would stand up, complain, then trade chairs with her husband. He was a good sport.

This time warp stuff is getting to me. The body isn’t adjustable like my watch is. I started out going to bed at 9 or 10. Everyday it’s an hour later. Deb tells me last night, “It’s one in the morning. When are you going to get some sleep?”

Mini golf

We have another jump ahead today.

Deb told me an interesting story. This one couple brought an expensive bottle of wine on board. When they asked to have some ice for it, the room steward told them that she would take care of it for them and took the wine. She left it on her cart. When she came back with the bucket of ice the wine was gone

She was so upset and apologetic. The couple was upset, too. She reported it to the head of security. He started looking at the camera footage around the room steward’s cart and saw who took the wine. Using facial recognition software, he was able to identify the thieves and Security tracked them down and demanded the wine back.

The thieves said they didn’t have the wine, but Security showed them the picture of them walking away with the bottle. They gave it back. I pretty sure the thieves will be disembarking in Gibraltar.

I’m starting to feel like I live on this ship. I mean, it has everything I need. A bed, a bathroom and lots of food.

One more sea day and it should be the last time warp. Deb and I ate lunch in the main dining room. I’m just having salad at this point. When we were leaving, I heard a lady ask the man next to her, “Did you just get up?”

“Of course.”

A lot of people are feeling the effects. I see people falling asleep in lounges and nodding off in the theater, and it’s not just me doing it either.

We had our last Battle of the Sexes. The men won. I’m going to miss that. It was a lot of guys all working for a goal, beat the women. It was fun, we would compare answers and even vote when we couldn’t agree. That never really went well, but, hey, we still won.

We have so many sea days that they are running out of entertainers. We had a male singer, then we had a female singer, then tonight we had the same male and female singer perform together.

Today we also saw signs of life. We saw a bird. Deb actually saw two of them. Then we passed a small island and saw a light on the shore. I thought I saw more than one. Deb wasn’t so sure. Okay, we’ve been out to sea for a long time.

It was formal night again. Lobster night, also. Everyone at the table ordered two, but I only had one. I also ordered a steak so I had a surf and turf going.

A ray of hope

It’s the last of our time warp days. Also the end of progressive trivia. We were told that the flashes we saw along the water last night were St. Elmo’s fire. Pretty cool.

Nothing to see today, but a few birds. Been an amazing crossing. I’ve experienced firsthand what it’s like to cross the Atlantic. We’ll be in the Strait of Gibraltar in the morning, then at noon we dock at the rock.

All that history sitting there.

They say on the cruise that not many people are showing up for Bingo. They’ve even had to cancel a few. Trivia, on the other hand, is packed every day. We’ve won two now.

At dinner they had some delicious crab cakes. I ordered one, but when I saw that Deb had two, I ordered another one. When checking the dessert menu, there was nothing that didn’t have alcohol in it or that looked good, so I ordered another crab cake. The waiter thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. Still not being sure, he brought me that and a dessert, just to be sure. I let someone else have the dessert and enjoyed my crab cake. They don’t call it cake for nothing, you know.

They had a group of passengers practice the Thriller dance all week, the one from Michael Jackson. Tonight they performed in the centrum for the rest of us, complete with rags and zombie makeup. It was really fun. Afterwards when they were walking away, one of the zombies came around the corner and a man said something to her. Then he stepped back and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my wife.”

Land Ho!

We made it. Deb’s misgivings about never seeing land again were ill-founded. I woke up early and went out on deck. I saw Africa! Not only did I see Africa, but I saw Europe also, without having to move my feet. Africa to the south and Europe to the north. We were in the Strait of Gibraltar.

I ran down and grabbed the binoculars and Deb. Then we went back up. There are ships everywhere, dolphins swimming around us, seabirds galore. We did it! We crossed the Atlantic Ocean just like the pilgrims and many many others have done. Of course, they were going the other direction, but the distance doesn’t change from east to west.

Things I learned: There is a whole lot of water on this planet of ours. It’s a very large ocean, but not even the largest. It’s an amazing planet we live on.

While we were up on deck, we heard Alpha, Alpha, Alpha stateroom 9034. That’s ships code for there is a medical emergency in stateroom 9034, the stateroom directly above ours. Whatever it was caused the ship to dock an hour early. There were not one, but two ambulance that came to the ship.

We had a quick breakfast in the buffet, then headed down to meet Paul, or tour guide for the day. We had arranged a tour through Cruise Critic. We knew two of the people who were going on tour with us, and there were four more we met down on the dock.

He drove us to the border with Spain. Apparently Spain has been wanting Gibraltar back since 1707 when the British and Dutch forces took it from them. They have tried several times to take it, including a siege of the colony in the 1800s. It still remains in British hands. They had a referendum in the 1970s to see if they would vote to join Spain, or stay as British. 44 people voted for Spain, the rest of the population voted to stay with England.

To drive to the border of Spain, isn’t a long drive, the whole of Gibraltar is only 3.5 miles long. But to do so, you have to drive across the Eisenhower Airport. It’s like a railroad crossing, only with planes instead of trains. The barriers come down, the cars stop. The plane lands, the barriers come back up. Simple, really.

Now it's a runway

Now it's a road

Landing there is an iffy thing. If the wind isn’t right, the planes have to land in Spain, and it’s a hassle to get back to the Rock.

We drove up to a 100 ton gun, big enough to fire across the bay. We visited St. Michael’s Cave, a beautiful cavern in the sandstone cliffs. It has all sorts of stalactites and stalagmites in it. The next stop was the Ape’s Den. Legend has it that when all of the Barbary apes die off then Gibraltar will revert back to Spain. During World War Two, Sir Winston Churchill was so worried about the ape population that he imported more. There are currently 136 apes on the ‘Rock.’ Yes, every one of them has a name. They even have ape keepers to look after them. It’s a 500 pound fine for feeding an ape. One of the creatures ended up on the top of our van. When our driver went to pull away, several tourists were motioning him to stop. He ignored them. I guess that happens all the time and the best way to get them off is to start driving. It’s not that he was going to go fast on the narrow, switchback roads. I guess the ape climbed off, or maybe there’s 135 apes on the rock currently.

St. Micheal's cave

Next we dove to the back side of the Rock, the one that faces Spain, instead of the sea. During the siege of the Gibraltar, the British had no way of firing their cannons at the Spanish, because they couldn’t depress them enough. The idea was to build a tunnel down into the limestone, to stick gun emplacements. As the British went down, they were having a hard time breathing, so they cut a vent hole through the cliff. Upon doing so, they noticed that Spain was visible from the hole, so they put a gun in it.

Inside the Siege Tunnels

Lots of guns in Gibraltar

When they finished building the tunnel, the war was already over. During World War II, they added more tunnels to the rock. Now when they say, “As strong as the rock of Gibraltar,” you have to remember, the thing’s nearly hollow, with 35 miles of tunnels in it.

36 miles of tunnels

Our next stop was the Moorish Castle, located on the hill side. I can’t tell you when it was built, but the original structure was damaged in a war, and restored in 1333. We were able to go inside. Never been in a castle before. Kinda cool. From the top, you can see Spain on the one side and the sea on the other.

Barbary Ape

We were dropped off at the main square and did a small amount of shopping then made our way back to the boat.

On the lighter side, the head of the housekeepers went to inspect our room steward’s work. They picked our cabin, only we were still in it. He asked if everything was okay. I told him we had the best room steward on the ship and she should get a raise and be promoted. Deb, on the other hand, complained about the hard bed. When we arrived back on the ship later on, there is 8-10 pillows made up into our bed. That was his ‘fix.’ Deb’s loving it; me, I’m not so sure.

Malaga

When they say the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, don’t believe them. We were soaked to the skin. Woke up this morning in Malaga. Slept through the approach and the docking, which I rarely miss. I guess the pillow top mattress, literally, was more comfortable than it looked.

I knew nothing of the city before I came here. We ate, because, that’s what you do on a cruise ship, then on the way out of the buffet, we ran into Frank and Bea. We asked them what they were doing and they said nothing. So we invited them to come on the walking tour with us.

Frank is the one who recommended Deb’s book to Deb before he knew she wrote it. They said yes, so away we went.

It rained on and off, mostly on, the whole time we were taking the tour. The guide claimed they had 320 days with sunshine every year, so we picked the wrong day.

The tour started out in Constitution Square and wound around to Larios street. Larios was a rich industrialist that didn’t pay well. He died and the people took the beautiful bronze statue of him and threw it in the bay. They replaced it with the statue of a working man. When General Franco took the city he asked where the statue of his friend Larios was and who was that standing there with a pick ax? When he found out what happened, he rescued Larios’ statue from the bay and put it back on the pedestal. The worker with a pick ax has been installed down below at the base.

Further on we visited a Cathedral. It was Sunday so Mass was going on. No problem, the tour guide said, just be quiet. I felt so disrespectful taking pictures during Mass, but they did have barriers, the wife says, that stated, do not pass. I didn’t go near where they were worshiping. The Cathedral is called the One Armed Lady by the locals because it was designed to have two towers, but the second tower was never built.

He showed us a building that was first a convent, then a brothel, now it’s a restaurant. It’s one of the more famous eateries in town. Antonio Banderas signed one of their wine barrels. It had a lot of pictures of celebrities eating there, including matadors. There is a huge bull ring in the city.

The city was settled by traders, because of the salt it had. Salt was a valuable commodity in those days. Then the Carthaginians took it over, then the Romans, then the Visigoths, then the Moors, then the Christians took it back.

It had fortresses from the Moors, and an amphitheater from the Romans, that they still use today. We walked past both the fortress and the amphitheater. All the while it’s still raining on us.

We saw where the famous painter Pablo Picasso studied as a boy and where he lived. There is a statue of him sitting on a park bench.

We were soaked to the skin by then and hungry so Deb and Frank went on a quest to find tapas.

They found a place, but it was empty. No one there but the owner, but the restaurant across the street was packed. I suggested the locals might know a thing or two about good food, she we went over there.

It was good food, but not tapas, which I was okay with. By the time they figured it out, we had already sat down. Being tired, nobody was all that interested in moving and finding another place. We ate our lunch and then went to find a taxi.

There was a line of taxis. I’m 6’4” and Frank was at least 6’6” so we didn’t want the small taxi that was in front of the line. I knocked on the window of the second taxi, and, pointing to the front taxi, something in Spanish.

I said, holding my hands far apart, we needed a big taxi and that one was a small one. The driver got out, walked to the first cab and then said, something in Spanish.

I guess the guy in the first cab was okay with it because our driver motioned us to get in. Then he said, something in Spanish. I guessed he was asking if we were going to the cruise ship, so I said, “Cruise, yes, I mean si.”

It seemed to work because he took off toward the port. When we got there he asked a question, in Spanish. Frank was in the front seat, because frankly, he’s taller than me. He said, the big one, and pointed to our ship.

The driver took us there. When it came to paying the fare, suddenly the guy could speak English. Well, in numbers anyway.

We walked into the terminal. Deb shopped, but didn’t find anything there, so we boarded the ship.

After taking off all of our wet clothes, we dressed, went up on deck and watched the ship depart. The Thompson Spirit, was doing a life boat drill in the rain. They did it the old fashioned way, making the passengers stand out on deck with their life vest on. Other cruise lines show you how to put your life vests on, but don’t make you wear them.

Deb wanted to go to the first show, so she could hear the Beatles tribute band, so we ate in the buffet. If they were great, we would go to the second show also. Not to say they weren’t good, because they were, but we decided to skip the second show. There was a huge Mother’s Day cake in the buffet area today. It had plates next to it and a crew member sitting there with a knife ready to cut it up in little bitty bits. Luckily I got a picture of it before it was massacred. After dinner we had some of it. It was good.

Deb emailed a few people and then she went to bed. I stayed up and wrote.

Roman Ruins beneath Moore Castle

Last full day. Everyone’s talking about the Backstreet Boys concert that will be on the next chartered cruise. The sound equipment is already onboard. It takes up a couple of conference rooms. The room steward has been informed that the people in her room will all be women and the oldest age will be 19, but not to worry, they will most likely sleep all day.

A guy on the elevator said he wanted to be on the next cruise, because of all the girls that will be onboard. One lady asked “Because of the Backstreet Boys?”

“I don’t care about the boys, it’s the girls I want to be with.”

We had a big farewell luncheon for all of the Cruise Critic Members who wished to attend. There were around 270 Cruise Critic members on the ship, only about half attended though. We had a special menu with fancier food on it. I had the roast duck. Nummy.

Got to say goodbye to a lot of people, then played games with other people after winning Hand and Foot. Deb played Dominoes.

All of our tablemates were there in the main dining room tonight. All six of us. The night before none of us made it. Other nights it was just Deb and I or 1,2, or 3 of the others.

That evening we went to trivia. Our whole team was there, Bob and Ester, Dave and Trula, and Deb and I. I got a group picture. We never once came in first with this team, but we had fun. My main contribution was talking them into second guessing the right answer and putting the wrong answer in. Sometimes during morning trivia we would have a couple from England on our team, Robin and Pamela. We almost always won with them on our team.

While I was waiting for trivia to start I looked out the window. I saw some specks on the water, or was it a dirty window? I was dozing on and off at that point. Suddenly I got them into focus. Those are dorsal fins. Dolphins, a dozen of them playing in the ships wake. They were smaller than the ones I’ve seen before, but they were fast and jumping completely out of the water. Amazing.

We had to pack today; sadness, but on the plus side, I’m not interested at all on being on the next cruise, so stowing away is not an option. In fact, I want off this boat before the insanity begins.

Glad you loved your cruise now get off my ship.

We had an early breakfast then went down to go to the lounge where we were suppose to wait for disembarkation. While we were walking towards it, an outside door to deck five opened and we were waiting in the get off line. We were there so early that security hadn’t worked out the bugs. The tech guy would get everything working, but before it could start checking out passengers, it would crash again.

He got it working again and said, “Don’t touch anything.”

The machine bonged as it checked out the first passenger, then crashed.

“You touched something,” he fussed, but a few seconds later it was up and running. Deb and I were number 10 and 11 to get off the ship.

We grabbed a cab. I knew the Spanish word for ‘airport’. It’s real easy, it’s aeropuerto. The driver repeated it and nodded his head’ That’s the only communication we needed which was lucky, because he didn’t speak English. Deb would ask him a question in English and he would reply in Spanish. We continued with our mutual misunderstanding until we arrived at the airport.

Almost there

Deb likes aisle seats and I love windows. I’m like a kid in a candy store with gluing my nose to the glass. I booked the plane so each of us could have the seat we wanted. I kept looking with dread to see who would sit between us. A large man with broad shoulders came on and I’m hoping it wasn’t him. A thin girls comes in. She would be okay. As each passenger boarded, I’m thinking yeah or nay. Then the last person gets on and there is still no one between us. Yippee, it’s our lucky day.

We spread out and the trip is comfortable and roomy.

When we landed in Copenhagen, we get a driver who speaks perfect English. He recommends places to see and warns us to watch out for the bicyclists. Very few people in Denmark can afford cars because the tax on them is 180% of the car’s value. The gas is three times ours also so if you have a car you can’t afford to drive it a lot.

It forces everyone to walk or ride bikes in their daily commute. We saw business men in suit and ties going to the office and women in dresses on them to. This means everyone lives near their work which drives up home prices in the city.

The canal

Copenhagen was small for a city. We covered a lot of it on foot. Not that we didn’t pay for that later, because we did. Beautiful place, though. We walked by a bakery, it looked so good that I had to go in. I ordered a tasty looking thing. I thought this tasted like the Danish we had at home, only better. Duh, I thought, this is where Danish pastries come from. Delicious.

Picnic in a boat

Here we are

A castle complete with moat

Vikings

We went to see a castle and came across a large park. There were people everywhere, mostly in groups, talking. They looked like they were having fun. Copenhagen had nicer weather than Barcelona on this day and the Danes had been cooped up all winter long and were taking advantage.

As we’re walking Deb tells me to look to the left and so I did, only there is nothing to look at. When I look back right there’s a girl wearing only panties sitting there. I figured out why she wanted me to look left. I only saw her back, so it wasn’t that bad, but Deb fusses at me anyway.

We see canals and boats and castles. It’s a good day, but we’re walked out by the time we get back to the hotel and lying around and a wonderfully soft bed feels great.

Bikes everywhere

Where I ate breakfast

We started out early the next morning. I ate two Danish for breakfast, in Denmark. Awesome. Shouldn’t make a habit out of that, but couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

We then explore the other part of town. Or try to. We’ve passed the same Starbucks five times. Deb wants some fancy sugar to take home so she asks the lady where a market is. Right there at the Starbucks. Come to find out that there’s a full size market right beneath the place we keep passing. It’s hard to find, the only sign is a large A.

We are walked out again so we head to the airport early. It’s good we did because the plane leaves an hour and a half earlier than we thought it did.

As I’m writing this, I’m looking at the map that shows you exactly where the plane is located. There’s a lot of places that I haven’t been. Especially when the map is zoomed out all the way. It includes most of Europe and Northern Africa.
As we fly I see below me the Arctic Ocean and we had just passed the Norwegian Fjords. I am grateful for all of the places I’ve been able to travel on this wonderful planet. Other adventures await.

We booked Deb on the aisle and me at the window again. It worked! There was no one between us.

In Iceland, we buy chocolate bars. Deb spends 1880 Icelandic Kronor on them. It seems like a lot to me so I had to do a conversation when we arrived home. It’s not so bad, 15 dollars for five chocolate bars.
On the last flight, there were three of us on the row, which is bad as it’s the longest flight. Almost eight hours. Then the stewardess comments that there is only one person on the row behind us, so Deb moves back and I take the aisle seat. More room. The lady at the window is irritating me. She shut the blinds. If you’re going to shut the blinds on a plane, let someone more appreciative of the view have that seat, for heaven’s sake.

We have to go through Customs and then Immigration when we arrive at the airport. They send us to these machines. Only the machines aren’t working, so everyone lines up to talk to a Customs official. Then the machines start working so they send everyone back to them, except the lucky few who’ve made it through by that time. As we finally arrive at a machine, they stop working again, so we are sent to the line to talk to the official. Finally we make it through. Except we’re not through. When we get our bags, we have to go through another custom official.

One guy in a business suit gets out of the regular line and cuts in front of us.

“What are you doing in this line?” barks the official.

The guy mumbled something to him.

The official points out another longer line and told the guy to go there. I figure it’s a wild goose chase the guy’s been sent on.

We get on the bus. With all the time zone changes, it’s added another 9 hours to our day. All that time we lost going east, we get back in a lump sum. Only we are now going on a 31 hour day and have been awake for all but five hours of it. No, I didn’t make it to work that night.

Mollika our daughter, has ‘Welcome home,’ scrawled across our driveway in chalk. It’s been an amazing trip.

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